I have been writing songs for almost a year now. Of course, being new to songwriting, over the last year I have completed four songs and have three songs that are currently incomplete. I feel like songwriting is a very personal process. But the subject isn't always personal. The majority of my songs have been written about things I have been thinking about or are outraged about but not really about anything that was personal to me. That is until now. Over the last week and a half, I have been working on a song that is the most deeply personal song I have written. It may actually be the deepest song I will ever write. It is about the most heartbreaking experience of my life. When I started messing around with the chords for this song, it wasn't my intention to write a song about this experience. I really didn't think that I was ever going to write anything about it. I had tried or wanted to on several different occassion but the words weren't right. Apparently, with the anniversary of this day around the corner, the words were finally able to form. What was so strange for me about this process was that when it was done, I felt naked. To emotionally layout your feelings for the whole world is such a strange feeling. Especially when I have been so careful to keep certain things and feelings about myself so private. Everytime I play the song I feel so weird. For anyone who has written a song or even just learned a song and practiced it; it becomes a burden of monotony. And when it is your feelings, your heartbreak written in that song, it seems wrong. I don't know how to continue to play this song without feeling wrong everytime I play it. It is a strange feeling that I am sure so many other people in my position have felt. But I think that is what I love about some of my most favorite songwriters, their ability to turn their heartache, their struggles, their feelings, into song.
Photo courtesy of Ashley Rose via Flickr
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